Good (?) Friday

As a child I often wondered why it was called “good”... I mean, this is the day we remember that they killed Jesus.  Why is that good?  Yes, I understand about the resurrection, but why did he have to die?  What’s good in an innocent man dying? More specifically: What kind of parent would send his child to a place to suffer and die through no fault of their own? That’s what I was taught as a child – that God knew Jesus would die and sent him anyway. What kind of a “god” would do that? Not one I wanted to worship – which is in part related to my leaving the church for my young adult years (a story for another time)...

I don’t believe that Jesus “had” to die for my sins – that God sent his son to die for me/us.  Yes, it ended up that way. Yes, eventually there was no other choice.  But it was our choices, our reactions, our responses that determined that. Now I know none of us were alive then, but I really don’t believe it would be any different today.  2,000 years, and humanity really hasn’t changed much. Jesus comes speaking of love and interdependence, of our need for commitment and responsibility toward one another, of God as love not judgment, and grace not wrath.  And Jesus asks us to live this way – to treat each other this same way... to be willing to change not only how we are with one another, but to change how our society functions. Can you hear the response?  “No, that’s not possible – things aren't great, but they're okay as they are, thank you.  Besides, if I really wanted things to change, there’s nothing I can do about it – one person can’t make a difference.  I’ll just try being a little nicer to people, that’s all he’s asking for.”  

That’s all he’s asking for? No. He’s asking us to understand that this world is not right-side up; it’s standing on its head. This upside-down world we live in isn’t reality as if maybe someday God’s reality will come into being. God’s reality exists now – we just have a hard time seeing it. It’s not about me; it’s about God. It’s not about me; it’s about us. Everything we do either draws us closer to God and to one another, or it keeps us apart, distinct, separate. Jesus says, “I came to show you God’s love; to teach you how to live that love with one another.” And even in his dying, he did that. What is there to fear in death, for we know, through Jesus Christ, God meets us even there.

... perhaps it is a good Friday.

Cleaning out!

I’ve been cleaning out my office this week.  Yes, in the middle of Holy Week with all the extra things going on – I’ve decided to clean!  ;-)  I told Dianne that I’ve felt the need to get some space – and that’s true.  And by working on the outer spaces, cleaning out the junk and sorting and organizing what’s left, I find that I am, at some level, working on inner space at the same time. 

And maybe Holy Week is a good time to do this… I need to be able to cast off what is no longer part of me, what is tying me down or holding me to the past, so that I can make space for what is seeking to unfold... most importantly, so I can make space for God to be.  How often do we let stuff pile up, not just in our physical space but in our personal space as well?  How often do we hang on to thoughts, beliefs, experiences that are no longer valid for us, no longer descriptive of who we are or of how we understand the world to be, or of who we understand God to be?  Certainly it’s not a conscious decision – at least I pray it’s not for me.  But if we don’t take the time to reflect, to look and really see what we have sitting on the shelves of our lives, then we may find one day that there’s no room for anything new.  More importantly, we may not realize how often we are responding to life from the old stuff in our spaces rather than from the love found in the light of God. 

So maybe Holy Week is a good time to clean out the “stuff” in my life – time to bury some things so that new life has room to grow.  When did you last clean out the “stuff”?

A few more reflections on Lazarus

Throughout the gospel texts we find examples of Jesus choosing the time and place of his response to situations – none so obvious, perhaps, as in the story of the raising of Lazarus.  When the sisters send Jesus a note telling of Lazarus’ illness, Jesus delays going for two days – saying the time was not yet for him to go.  ... I wonder how often I am able to do that – how often am I able to respond out of my sense of what I should do rather than react out of a desire to fix or do or be who you want me to be.  How often, when we see a need or someone approaches us with a need – how often am I able to seek first where God is leading me, where God is calling me to go and to do... seeking first God’s leading so that I am responding from the love of God?  ... I am a “fixer”.  Bring me a problem, and I want to fix it.  I have to be careful when I counsel others to remember that it is not my job, not my place to “fix” things... I know myself, and I know that all too often I react wanting to fix, cure, or stop what is wrong – whatever that means in the situation – rather than offer love and healing (which often is not the same as fixing would be).  I can’t stand to see you in pain so I want to help stop the pain, but perhaps the pain is only a symptom of something deeper that needs to be healed, or perhaps the pain is something that you need to heal yourself with God...

In Jesus’ time there were “professional mourners,” people who attended to the families of the dead to weep and wail for the dead in order to remind the living to rail against the forces that oppress.  It is likely it was these same mourners who were in the house with Mary when Jesus arrived in Bethany following Lazarus’ death.  It was possibly these people who followed her to the tomb to catch up with Jesus, these same people whom Jesus saw “weeping” and became disturbed/angry.  The text is unclear but seems to indicate that Jesus’ emotion at that point was not anger or sorrow because people were grieving – but rather that he was disturbed or angered by what he witnessed in the crowd of mourners.  Perhaps it was these people who are not concerned for the victim, but rather who, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, come with their own agenda.  ... Who do you know who are “professional mourners” today?  Who are the friends, or people around us who encourage us to weep and wail as one who has no faith, to respond as the world responds rather than to trust in God’s promises?  Certainly, when bad things happen to us we mourn – it hurts because we are interrelated and when a tie is hurt or severed in some fashion we hurt.  But our faith should make a difference in how we mourn – we have that certain hope that life continues beyond the grave, whether it is a grave of death or the burial of some part of a relationship.  And that is a hope that should bring us comfort and strength, knowing that God is in all and through all.  Does your faith make a difference in your grief? ...

Before calling Lazarus from the tomb, Jesus offered a prayer of thanks acknowledging that God listens and hears.  He didn’t offer a prayer asking God to listen; rather he thanked God for listening and responding.  I wonder – how often do I approach prayer in that fashion, not asking God to hear me but instead believing and then acting that God listens to the prayers of my heart?  What about you? ...

I wonder, as well, what Lazarus might have thought/felt at being brought back from death?  The text doesn’t address Lazarus at all; it simply leaves him exiting the tomb... I wonder what the rest of his days were like...  Did he live a changed person, knowing that every day was a gift?  Did a second chance at living and loving make any difference in the depth of his relationships and the way he viewed the details of daily living?  And what effect did it have on his sisters, his friends and family? ... And why do we need to physically die and be reborn to look at life as a gift daily?

The time is not yet...

One of the things that struck me in our gospel passage Sunday (John 11:1-45) is that Jesus delays returning to Bethany on purpose.  Jesus is sent word that his friend is ill, he likely even knows that his friend is already dead by the time he read the message sent to him – and yet he says, “not yet”.  My first reaction is, “What?! How could he?! Not MY Jesus, he would never do something that!”…  And then I remember the story of the wedding feast and Jesus’ first miracle.  You remember, they had run out of wine and Jesus’ mother came to him and told him the wine was gone.  Like the sisters from Sunday’s text, his mother didn’t tell him to fix it and she didn’t ask him for anything – simply told him the situation… heavily laden with implied desires.  Jesus replied to her – as he did to the sisters – “the time is not yet.”  … Oh, how I don’t like hearing those words!  God’s time is not my time; God’s timing is not my timing; God’s way is not my way.

It causes me to ponder how often I come to God for help, comfort, support – and tell God how he needs to provide it; how he needs to solve it.  Not just that I want things fixed, changed, etc. in my time frame – I also want them resolved my way.  But what God asks is that we allow room in our lives for God to work.  We are asked to place our prayers, our petitions and requests before God and trust that God will be there, at work in the situation, at work in our lives.  Nowhere that I can find (darn it) are we told to place our requests before God and then solve it for him… How difficult it is to relinquish control – to remove our bindings and trappings from certain areas or experiences and allow God room to work.

Where have you bound your life so tightly that you are afraid to let go and give God control and space in which to work?  Can you offer a prayer to God help you let go, help you to give God space to work in the situation and within you?  You may find that God wants to bring the miracle of new life where you thought only healing was possible.

That is my prayer for all of us this day.

I will be with you

In my devotional reading this week I find these words:

“Moses said to God, “Who am I to go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt?” The Lord answers, “I shall be with you.” That’s all. Simply, I’ll be with you! … In every religious experience in the Bible, a person comes to an experience of God and God says, simply, I shall be with you. I will do it. Trust me. The directions come as you walk the journey. The word is not fully given until the first steps are taken.”

God will be with us – what more do we need to know? But if you’re like me, that is often little consolation. I want to know where I’m going before I begin – what’s my destination, what’s the route I’m going to take, what possible difficulties might I face along the way? But then I remember: one of the best vacations I’ve taken was a three week camping trip with a close friend. Our journey was to visit Niagara Falls, but we didn’t choose a route before we left – choosing instead to follow where our interests and the roads took us, stopping where we chose and visiting places of interest along the way. We travelled for three weeks – partly in campgrounds and partly in motels – without making reservations choosing each day what we were to do. ... ... Isn’t that what God is asking of us – to live our lives knowing that our journey is eternity with God, knowing that God is our constant companion helping us choose each day the road we are to take and the stops we are to make along the way?

Sometimes I think “the word is not fully given until the first steps are taken” because I would be too frightened to take that first step if I knew where it would lead. Trust me, God says, and I hang on – sometimes like a frightened child not daring to look and see what really is. All God asks is that we take the first step... and it usually becomes easier from there. That’s how it was for me following God’s call into full-time ministry.  “You want me to do what? To go where?,” I said. “I can’t possibly do that.  Surely you’re wrong.” (Yep, that’s right – me telling God he was mistaken! Oh the places we allow ourselves to go in order to deny God’s call on our lives.) So God showed me seminary, and I knew it was where I was to be. The first step. It was only after I had actually taken that first step, that I began to see God’s leading – the direction we were headed. But I still only see a little way ahead – and that is good. It helps me to trust more fully that God walks with me; it keeps me more focused on making sure that I walk with God; and it helps me focus on where I am now and what I am called to do, who I am called to be.

God is with you – possibly some of the best words that bring us constant security, comfort, peace, and strength. God is with you, trust that the directions will come as you take each step.