my selves, a rocky metaphor

While walking the beach on the shore of Lake Michigan, I was caught with wonder at the variety of rocks which formed the shore. The colors and shapes and sizes are beyond any ability to catalogue. How did they all get here, where did they all come from with their variety of texture and color, what storms of life have they lived through … ?

And then my eye was caught by this and this …

and I was caught by how like my ego-self these are. Caught by how much they resemble my put-together self as I do my best to make myself into the person the world affirms and values, when I fall asleep to who I truly am and live from habit and for external approval. I add to myself “yes” or “no” to be accepted by you when my authentic self says the other. I add to myself strength when I feel heartache because I am expected to be strong, because I am afraid to be vulnerable. … And others look and see only the rock, yet I see so much more. I see the patched and mended places, the parts forced to fit when they don’t fit at all. I see the places of restlessness and disconnect, and something within me knows this is not who I am meant to be, not who I truly am.

When I am able to live from my deepest place within, able to move beyond the habits formed by my ego to be successful or to survive and choose instead actions and thoughts which support this honest truth of who I am, I think we come to see our beauty in this … 

and this …

I see how the flow of life only serves to enhance and define the beauty of who we truly are. In the depths of color and shading my complex yet simple nature is revealed. In the lines and marks, striations and sparkles I see how life has enhanced yet left unchanged the essential nature of the stone. I see beauty and difference and oneness. 

And so again this moment, I choose to live a life that’s real and pure and free. I choose to surrender to the Life which flows in my very breath and is Oneness with you and with all.

“Through gentleness and grace,
     through awareness of what is happening within me and around me,
          through openness and relaxing into what is,
effort and striving-to-become cease,
     and I realize Life arises and finds expression from deep within me,
          and I understand my interconnectedness with all of created life,
and I know that who I am is good,
is enough.”