Holy Moments

Tuesday I led a memorial service for one of our members – one who died unexpectedly, which in and of itself makes the whole situation more difficult for all of us...

It was my seventh service in two years – that feels like a lot, especially given that I wasn’t the lead pastor during that time. Walking with a family through this period of grief and leading a memorial service for someone is: healing, heart-rending, awe-filled, difficult, uplifting …a feeling that I find challenging to explain… [but I’m gonna try because it’s on my mind tonight :) ]

First there’s the sacred time I have to spend with the family. Time to help them begin the grieving process; time to begin to look past loss to hope; time to celebrate the good that was even as we mourn all that will never be. As part of our preparation for the service, we spend time together sharing memories of the loved one – times in their lives and relationship that are cherished, full of joy, perhaps bittersweet, and even times of difficulty and strain. In a time of great sorrow it helps all of us to acknowledge the difficult times and to find loving memories to smile and perhaps laugh about. It is difficult to explain the privilege I feel being given the opportunity to meet this loved one through the eyes of their family (and sometimes friends); to hear loving and sometimes pain-filled memories; to be able to speak words of comfort and affirmation and grace...

Then there’s the holy time I get to spend writing the funeral meditation (a.k.a. eulogy). And it truly is a holy time. The best way to describe it: during the time I spend focusing on writing the meditation I feel as if I am actually spending it with that person. That surprised me with the first one I did – feeling as if, in a way, I had company as I tried to put together thoughts that would share some measure of the significance of that person; their uniqueness, their character, their struggles and triumphs and loves. And the feeling has been there whether I knew the person before death or not. It’s influenced by my relationship with them, of course that plays a role – but it’s as if we journey together for that space of time as I seek to find and speak words of truth and words of love.

And there’s also the, hopefully, grace-filled time of the service itself. Our time to come together as a community; to share words of sorrow, to share words of hope, to share love and comfort and support with one another. A time to remind ourselves that we aren’t alone – there are many who grieve with us, and a loving God who journeys with us every step.

I come through with my body tired (sometimes even drained if it is a more difficult one like this week’s), but with my soul expanded and my spirit buoyed by feeling the embrace of our connectedness to each other and to our God.

I am truly blessed to be able to serve God in ministry with you.

[And if you've read all the way to the end - thanks for listening!]