Endings and Beginnings

“One of the marvelous facts of life is that every ending carries within itself the potential for a new beginning.”    ~ Mary Borhek

I sit here for moments feeling blank and unmoving. “Every ending carries within itself a new beginning”… and yet all I can think of is the ending of death, a good friend's recent  death to be specific. Where is the new beginning in that? Oh, I see the possibilities, but what I know is that the possibilities pale in comparison to the reality we desired - to have her with us in this life for many more years. To say she is “better off” is little consolation in the desolation of this loss. 

And yet, I recognize she is with me still, in ways different than before. More intimate, more often. Her presence, and gentleness and sweetness and insight and love and concern, her view of the world and commitment to relationships, … all this and more seeps through the moments of my days in ways they didn’t when she was breathing. And so she is helping shape and form me in ways neither of us would have imagined.

It is marvelous and wonderful. And if I cannot have her breathing with us still, then I am thankful for her living presence in my life. I am thankful she journeys with me still. I am thankful that every ending carries within itself the potential for a new beginning.

it is through prayer

“It is through prayer… that one will be given the most powerful light 

to see God and self.”     ~ Angela of Foligno

… for it is through the deep silence of prayer that I am best able to see God and not some illusion of my own making.
… for it is through prayer that I am able to be my most vulnerable before God, and thereby see my Self.

… for it is through prayer that I give up the illusion of control and abandon myself into the Light that enlightens all things.

… for it is through prayer that I become most receptive to the voice of the Holy speaking in the silence of my soul.

… for it is through prayer that the tools of self-understanding become transforming forces within my life.

… for it is through prayer that I can give up the illusion of my desires and see you as light and love.

… for it is through prayer that I can experience our connectedness and know you and I are truly one.

Prayer returns me to my Self, to who I already am and to who I am becoming.

Prayer reminds me of what I truly long for and my role it bringing it about.

Yes, it is through prayer that I am given the most powerful light to see God and to see my Self. What a beautiful invitation.

Take Nothing for Granted

“Mindfulness teaches us to be fully aware of each experience, letting nothing remain unnoticed, taking nothing for granted.”      ~ Holly Whitcomb

To take nothing for granted also means to fully experience the sorrow and the pain along with the joy. To sit with and to be with what is, and to allow the reality of this moment to teach me. For there is much to learn of life and love from the pain of sorrow as from the joy. 

And yet, it is so hard to sit with pain in any form. I have been so conditioned (perhaps you have, too) to ignore it or deny it or race through it, as if it will hurt less, as if to deny it makes it untrue. Our society can be a pleasure-seeking people; the “pursuit of happiness” is a right we are owed, is it not? Yet I know a life that denies sorrow is a life not fully lived. A life that ignores pain does not form the deepest connections with others, nor with God, on the journey. 

And so I am learning to live with awareness of sorrow and pain, with anger and fear, with hate and indifference. To sit with it, breathing deeply into it, asking what it has to teach me, knowing I am not alone for the Holy One is with me, and you are, too. 

Thank you for the many ways we journey together. I am blessed by your presence.

"After all, it can take a lifetime to really (know) ... what all these things are saying to us about life, about our own growth, about the spirit in the clay of us. But once mindfulness comes, life changes entirely."  ~ Joan Chittister

We Are Spirit

“Spirituality is expressed in everything we do.”

~ Anne E. Carr

All is one. There is no division between “sacred” and “secular”, these divisions exist only in my mind and play themselves out in my living.

When I live awake, when I live aware then all of my actions are intentionally connected to Spirit, the energy or river that connects all of life. And they, hopefully, affect the cosmic unity for healing. Yet whether or not I am awake, whether or not I am living aware, my actions are always connected to the river that connects us all, my actions always affect the cosmic unity - the question is whether they bring healing or harm. And even neutral energy brings harm in the sense that my life and my choices have the potential for healing, a potential I am not always choosing.

Perhaps the quote is saying: Spirituality is all we are. Every action, every thought, our whole way of being, our whole selves is spirituality. It is not something I ‘put on’ at one point and ‘leave off’ (through lack of attention) at others. It is not something I “express”. It simply is who I am. I am Spirit experienced in material/corporeal form. And so are you. … How differently I would interact with you if this knowledge was at the forefront of our interaction, at the forefront of my living - if it was such a deep knowing that I lived and moved from that view. How differently.

Honor and respect, compassion and gentleness, love and hopefulness, encouragement and strength. These are the lens through which I view and move and interact and respond, for we are each Spirit in material form. We are on a journey together to be unconditional love for one another.

** Through this Lenten season, I am journaling daily from a collection of quotes. It is one attempt to get back to regular writing. So... if you see more posts following this one, then it is successful ... at least for now. ;)

Fasting and Feasting

For many, Lent is a time of 'giving up' - giving up chocolate, or soda, or... - all in an effort to remind ourselves daily of all that was/is sacrificed for us. Some see Lent as a time of 'taking on' - taking on acts of kindness, or service, or... - all in an effort to remind ourselves of all that has been/is given to/for us. Both are ways of seeking healing and wholeness, and reconciliation with others and with Spirit.

But what if healing isn't found solely in fasting (giving up) or found solely in feasting (taking on more)? What if the deepest healing is found when we are able to fast and feast - when we fast from the things we live better without while at the same time feasting on those things we live better with, in abundance? You see, fasting or refraining from discontent doesn't mean we live more gratefully. Gratefulness arises when we seek to live aware of all that we are blessed by/with. Fasting from anger doesn't necessarily mean we live more patiently. Patience comes from accepting our humanity and the humanity of others, and seeking to live in ways that honor the light of Spirit within each other. Fasting from self-concern doesn't necessarily mean we live more lovingly, more compassionately. Just because I stop worrying about myself doesn't mean I start to give a whit about you. And fasting from worrying doesn't necessarily mean we live more fully into faith.

The list below was shared at a retreat I was blessed to participate in this past weekend.

I pray we give up and take on at least one of these daily, not just during Lent - oh what a world that would be!

True Lenten Disciplines

Fast from judging others;

Feast on Christ dwelling in them.

Fast from fear of illness;

Feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from words that pollute;

Feast on speech that purifies.

Fast from discontent;

Feast on gratitude.

Fast from anger;

Feast on patience.

Fast from pessimism;

Feast on optimism.

Fast from negatives;

Feast on alternatives.

Fast from bitterness;

Feast on forgiveness.

Fast from self-concern;

Feast on compassion.

Fast from suspicion;

Feast on truth.

Fast from gossip;

Feast on purposeful silence.

Fast from problems that overwhelm;

Feast on prayer that sustains.

Fast from worry;

Feast on faith.

Living in grace

In PrairieFire class this month (learn about PrairieFire here) these words were said:

We live in grace, wholly completely.

... and they caught my attention.

Grace is the essence of the kingdom of God. Grace is not something God gives, like a present. It is the atmosphere, the structure, and the foundation in which we move. It's not that we have grace at times more so than others - like God "gives us grace" when we ask/need, which implies we have it at times and don't have it other times. No. Grace permeates the world in which I live. It is always there, always active whether my outward self recognizes it or not. There is an inward, deep "Yes" to this knowing, as if my spirit knew this all along and it was simply waiting for my humanity to see...

I live in grace, which is an aspect of the character of God.

I live in grace, which means so does everyone else.

I live in grace.

So how do I live in awareness of that, at all times and in all places? Perhaps by coming more deeply to know and to experience that I am, first, a spiritual being, created in the image of God ...

Blessings.

PrairieFire

I have been accepted to participate in a 2-year program (better said "journey") for personal spiritual formation called "PrairieFire." (If you're interested, you can read more about it here.)

We had our first class last week, and it was wonderful. The day just flew by. What a great group of people, good facilitators, and wonderful discussion - plus time spent in prayer and silence together. I really think I'm going to enjoy our time together. That's not to say it will be all easy - realistically, I expect to encounter some times of discussion that I won't enjoy... but I pray they will be times of learning. Don't be surprised if I post from time-to-time about it.

What are you doing to nurture your own growth in awareness of God's Spirit?

p.s. The image on this post is from Soul of The Prairie, a working farm and retreat center in rural Hubbard, Iowa. I spent a fabulous two days on a personal retreat there early this summer. They have created more than one labyrinth mowed into the prairie grass. I hope to go back again before we get too much snow this year. Absolutely beautiful, restful, and nurturing - and Mary and her husband are gracious hosts. (You can check it out here.)

Many blessings.