Living Thanks...

Thank you, God, for blessing my life. The Scriptures tell us that all good gifts come from you – so thank you for faith and love, and grace and forgiveness. For being mindful of me and being a tangible part of my life, I give you thanks. For the abundance of love which you shower upon me, and which I see again and again in the people in my life, I give you thanks. For hardship and sorrow, I give you thanks – for even though you don’t cause them, through them I am learning compassion and understanding joy which come from you. Thank you, God, for loving me; for being mindful of me; and for drawing me to you so that I can learn to see as you see and love as you love. Amen.

I woke up this morning and (after I remembered what day of the week it was!) began to think about all the things I am thankful for in my life – my husband who not only loves me but who fully supports me in responding to God’s call to ministry; our son and extended family; friends; that my needs are met, sure I have wants (who doesn’t) but my needs have been provided for; a ministry through which I can serve God with all that I am; and... my faith.

I could list so many things I am thankful for in my life – but having faith in God is what they are all founded on; it’s what my life is founded on. There was a time in my life, many years actually, when this wasn’t true. So, having lived without faith or belief makes me more aware of it now.

But I am thankful for my faith every day, not just today. It’s about living thankfully. It’s about living daily with an attitude, a perspective of gratitude for all that is (not just for what you “have”). It’s different from just being optimistic, although I am optimistic about life because I know Who is in control and that through God all things will work together for good – even if we can’t see it. For me, it’s about being aware, through faith, of the blessedness of all of life and of the One who blesses me. I am God’s beloved, and for that I give thanks always.

Do you know that you are God’s beloved? You are – and for that I give thanks!

I pray your day is filled with the joy of knowing you are beloved of God.

Gotta go bake bread... :)

More like me than I realized...

Some of the things I post here I write just for this blog; some of them grow out of my private journaling and I find that I want to share them. Occassionally, I will share something I've shared in our church newsletter - mostly because I'd like to offer it up for discussion, feedback, etc. That is the case with this post - from journaling to newsletter to you...

I have been pondering lately the frustrations in my life. Perhaps for you it’s the same – the things that you seem able to easily overlook in “normal” circumstances become annoyances or frustrations when the stress in your life is higher? I realized as I was dwelling on someone’s tendency toward being judgmental, how annoying I found that, etc – I realized that I was being judgmental about their judgmental-ness (ouch!). I believe it is true that the things that annoy, bother, frustrate us in others are most likely the things about our own self that need to be looked at.

I know that at times I make snap-judgments. It is too easy to forget to look to see what I really “know” and what I am simply assuming when I am emotionally tied to the issue or situation or person. Most of the time, I think, I do well taking the objective look at what is happening; attempting to make allowances and to see other possible sides of the issue, or see the situation from another person’s perspective (at least I hope I do!). Which, I guess, makes the times I don’t, the times I find myself judgmental all the more difficult to ignore.

So how do we learn to stop judging? I think it’s about having a greater desire to listen and understand than to be heard or to be “right”. When I care more about understanding, then I allow space for dialog and room for others to be “right” too. Implicit in seeking to understand is the fact that I must believe that I do not have all the knowledge and that I am not in a position to judge. And, truly, none of us ever has all the knowledge. And, truly, none of us is ever in a position to judge – that is up to God. And, believe me, I’d rather be judged by God than by me. God is gracious and merciful and forgiving – always. God sees the essence of the person I am – not the outer layers or the works I do, but the beloved child he created – and then “judges” me based on that.

How I wish I could do that, always, when I look at, interact with, am in relationship with others. Marianne Williamson calls it “seeing another’s innocence”. When we seek to blame, we look for the guilt of others – perhaps at some level seeking to justify ourselves and to gain power. But when we seek to love and to understand, then we see the innocence of others. ... God help me desire to understand more than I desire to be “right.”

What do you do to stop yourself from judging or blaming where God calls us to understand?

Authority or Power?

I have been thinking lately about “power” and “authority” as I reflect on how I and others lead. Often we use the two words interchangeably, as if they mean the same thing. But I don’t think they do. For me, one difference is that power is something we take or assume and authority is something that is given to us. A leader who takes control of issues, situations, people where he/she really doesn’t belong is taking power not authority. This is true regardless of the motive or intentions behind their actions. Even if someone with the responsibility to do so gives me the “right” to lead, I still haven’t been given authority. Gandhi once said, “The world will not know peace until the power of love is stronger than the love of power.”

Power comes from a system of hierarchy. But authority comes out of relationship. As a leader or pastor I can exert power over you or over a situation, but only God and only you can grant me the authority necessary to work with you and through you to affect change, to help bring healing and redemption. And just because you have granted me authority in one area of your life, doesn’t mean that I have authority in other areas too. God gives me the authority to speak with a pastor’s voice, but you must give me the authority to speak as your pastor.

The authority that is needed to bring healing at the deepest levels is not something that is given quickly for most of us. Instead, it is a more gradual process of coming to know and understand a person, to see glimpses of their essence – that their walk and talk align – and experiencing that they see who I am and want what’s best for me not some false/assumed image of me… and only then do I release more of my life, my deeper self to them. Then I become willing to reveal other parts of myself and to respond to their guiding.

How do you see the difference between “power” and “authority”?

Time for unity

The elections are over. After years of campaigning, it’s done. Victory, this time, seems clear. A new president has been chosen. Your candidate may have won or your candidate may have lost. Today you may be rejoicing or today you may be mourning. I encourage you to take the time to rejoice or to mourn. … And then let's all take a breath, straighten our shoulders and reach out to one another – because it’s time now for unity.

As a nation we too often and too easily fall into opposing sides; “us” and “them” rhetoric. For the sake of not just our nation or our children, but also for the sake of our world it’s time to stop. It’s time to reach out to one another. It’s time to listen to each other, really listen – not just try to make our point, but seek to understand the other person’s view. Together we can do amazing and wonderful things. Together we can solve the greatest challenges facing us.

It will take all of us together to bring healing to our land, to God’s world. It is what God continues to call us to do. None of us holds the Truth, but all of us together when our hearts are connected to God hold a portion of God’s truth. And when we reach out to one another, seek to understand each other, do our best to work together toward peace and prosperity for all – we share our truth with each other. And that is when we find healing. And that is when we find we are at our strongest.

The energy that you put into impassioned conversations – put that same energy into working for unity. Not my way, not your way – but our way will become the way to healing and growth for our nation and, ultimately, for our world. So I encourage you to reach out, take someone’s hand – then spend time listening to them. Let's move forward - together.

Finding grace within…

For several weeks now I have been seeking grace for a situation I have found myself involved in – seeking to find acceptance and forgiveness. Acceptance of what is; and forgiveness where none has been asked for. I have been struggling to “practice what I preach” – in the most literal sense. Tonight, restless and needing to settle down for sleep I picked up the book “The Gift of Change,” by Marianne Williamson, that I have been reading (slowly) for the past 5 months (okay, very slowly). For me, this book has held many nuggets of insight – some I hadn’t thought of or not in that same way, and others being simply reminders of what I already know. I read until I come across something that gives me pause, and then I do pause for reflection (which is why I still have five chapters left).

Tonight these words caught me: “...we come to understand that humanity is not perfect...we all do the best we know how with the skills we have at the time.” ... ... And there I found the grace I was seeking.

Yes. We do the best we can with the skills we have – and that is true in this case, too. And knowing that, and accepting that it is true frees me from all the angst, the conflicting emotions, the internal drama. And it frees within me the grace which flows from God – the grace that brings acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

Are you able to know, with a deep level of knowing, that humanity is not perfect, and we all try to do the best we know how with the skills we have? When we can see situations and others in this way, it frees us from seeing guilt to seeing innocence. Sure there are exceptions, but for the most part people don’t intend to hurt us. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hold others accountable for their actions when necessary. And yes, we should be sure to put boundaries in place if there is a true need to protect ourselves in the future. But when we are more concerned with blaming than forgiving, we close the door on grace and love.

Do you think this is how God sees each of us? Innocent because we are simply trying to do the best we know how with the skills we have at this time?

Can you, too, find God’s grace within?

Showing me who I am…

I came across this post the other day and was struck by the phrase that through my relationships with others “God has a chance to hold up a mirror and show me who I am.”

I wonder, how often are we blessed with relationships that have that kind of depth to them? Relationships where we feel free and comfortable and, more importantly, responsible for helping one another grow in Christ? It’s not something that happens by chance, these relationships. They are something that we have to intentionally seek, and something we have to consistently work for.

Do you have at least one? Do you have someone with whom you can be honest about your life, your spiritual journey, your fears and your desires? Do you have someone who will tell you when they don’t agree with you or with your actions – and, most importantly, to whom you will listen? Or do you come across as closed and defensive so that others are either afraid or unwilling to speak plainly when that is needed?

Some of my times of greatest growth come when I am willing to look into the mirror that others hold up for me and see who I am.

Planning to Live

You may know this about me, but I am a planner and a list-maker. I like having a plan, a vision for my life – it helps bring order to my days, which are often chaotic. Truth be told, I like having a plan because it helps me feel more in control - especially when things don’t seem to be in my control. Now, I know that I am never really in control, and that God is always in control. But it helps sometimes to have a sense of knowing what’s going to happen (even if I really don’t).

The difficulty is learning to not hold so tightly to my plan that I miss God’s plan for me. I have learned that if I focus only on planning ahead, then I tend to not live now. I focus on what’s next and miss what is happening around me. I miss the invitations and the opportunities that God places in my life - invitations to experience God’s presence through my relationships with others or simply through the dawning of a new day. Invitations that quite often alter my plan and bring wonders I hadn’t dreamed of.

This tendency of looking ahead and missing the present is even greater during times of significant transition – especially transition I did not choose. What about you? Do you see God at work in your life and in the life of our congregation right now?

God is doing wonderful things here among us. I pray that you make yourself a part of it.

Pulse Check

For me, the past several weeks seem to have moved quickly. How are you doing?

Times of transition can sometimes be upsetting times – with the changes that have happened and the ones that are on the horizon. But they can also be wonderful times of growth and opportunities for discernment of God’s vision – for ourselves as individuals and for the congregation as we embrace all that God is calling us to become.

I have witnessed some wonderful things happening at Riverside these past few weeks – signs of faithfulness in the life of our Body of Christ; signs of God at work in our lives. Such as, the wonderful leadership we have in worship each Sunday. How great it is to have new voices sharing prayers and testimony with us each week. Such as, more than 70 people participating in our all-church study. What a wonderful sign of commitment to God, church, and our personal spiritual growth. Such as, a Saturday evening worship service that continues to inspire us with God’s presence. Such as, a new Sunday morning prayer group – members who are living out their commitment to pray for the church and its mission. Such as, a new evening women’s group that supports and encourages the relationships and the spiritual growth of the women of Riverside.

God’s call to each of us is constant. And during times of transition, it’s important to continue to be faithful to the call of God in our lives – as individuals and as the Body of Christ. It’s important that we are each faithful in our worship participation. Weekly worship is the primary way we come together as a whole Body of Christ for nurture, growth, support and praise. It’s important that we are each faithful in our stewardship. God’s call to mission continues through our ministry in this place. So it’s important that we continue to be faithful in our tithing, and in the sharing of our time and our talents in service to God.

Remember always that the One who calls you is faithful and he will do all that he has promised.

God’s steadfast love endures forever; God’s faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 100:5)

Grounded in God

During times of transition brought about because of change, it is easy to become anxious, tired (mentally, physically, and spiritually), confused, sad, angry… During this time even more so than at any other, we need to seek to remain centered in ourselves and to be anchored in God. And the key to remaining centered in ourselves is being anchored in God. During times of transition, just as with other times of our lives, we need to do all we can to actively rely on God – God’s leading, support, nurture, strength, encouragement, and guidance.

The difficulty is when we find ourselves so occupied with, and possibly even overwhelmed by, all that we have to do that taking care of ourselves seems like a distraction. Tending to our own spiritual health seems to fall to last on the list. Either we are so busy doing that we don’t make the time, or we think everything is fine and we don’t need to make the time. Regardless, when this happens we find that we are so busy relying on ourselves that we neglect to rely on God.

When we live relying on God several things happen in our lives. First, we trust that regardless of what we do or don’t do, noting can separate us from God’s love (Rom 8:39). We find we are able to risk more because of it. Next, we understand that we are never alone. No matter where we are or what we do, God and Christian community are always with us. And, finally, we see our ministry, all that we do, in the context of God’s on-going work of redemption. We see that what we are doing is bigger than the next task on our list. When we take the time to tend to our own spiritual health, we are better able to do the things God calls us to do and serve as God calls us to serve.

So, how do we remain anchored in God? There’s no simple formula, but there are some practices that will help. Here are a few: participate in worship, receive God’s grace and experience God’s love in community; study the Bible for your own personal reflection, listen to where God is addressing you personally; pray, in whatever form or fashion you wish, but pray consistently; take time each week for Sabbath rest, take time to pause and reflect on your life and on God, time to refocus and refresh; find a mentor, not simply a friend but a spiritual guide who will help you process your reactions and responses to what is happening in and around you.

What do you do to remain anchored in God?

It's about you...

In the worship message Sunday, I said:

“One thing I have come to better understand over the past few years is that my faith journey is not about me. My faith journey is about others. … Now, yes, it is also about me. But if I live believing that what the Gospel message, the Good News of God understood through Jesus – if I believe that what Jesus has shared is only about my relationship with God, then I’ve missed the most important part of Jesus’ message. Once we have faith, God calls us to share it – once I have faith God asks that I help plant the seeds in the lives of others so that they might come to know God, to experience God’s love. When I learn more about God, when I experience God’s grace at a deeper level in my life, when my connectedness to God deepens in tangible ways – then I am able to see you more clearly. I am able to see you as the child of God that you are; to see you through God’s eyes; and, I hope, to love you with greater compassion than I ever could I my own. You see, my faith is not about me; it is about God’s love for you and how our connection to one another can help each of us become whole.”

Jesus didn’t come to show us God, to reveal to us what God is like, so that we could be safe, happy, and content. He came, in part, so that we could become response-able to God. Not “responsible” as in owing God something, or duty-bound to serve. No, Jesus came so that you and I could see more clearly who God is and then respond to God and to others from that understanding.

How has Jesus revealed God to you? And, how is God calling you to respond?

And some were evangelists...

Since our church has embarked on a six-week journey to "unbind our hearts," I wondered if some might find it helpful to have the text of some of the sermons. Copied below is the text of the introduction to the series that I preached Sunday (Sept 14). Please note though (disclaimer!) that writing-to-speak and writing-to-read are somewhat different. If sections read "weird," try reading them out loud - it may help! [I'd have rather attached the original file... If someone knows how to attach PDF files to blogger, please let me know!]

For those who are not aware, we are using the "Unbinding Your Heart" book written by Martha Grace Reese. Our church leaders, 25 people in all, participated in the initial leaders' study, "Unbinding the Gospel," last May. Each of the next six Sundays we will focus on the themes from the six chapters of the book. We also have a Saturday evening worship experience that we are experimenting with as part of this journey together. What a wonderful time of intentional focus on our faith-relationship!

**************************************************************

And some were evangelists...

Well, here we are ready to start our Unbinding Your Heart series – and you’ve shown up. That’s a significant step – being willing to be part of a discussion on “evangelism.” Have you ever thought of yourself as an evangelist? Someone who tells others about Jesus – someone like Philip? (read scripture – Acts 8:26-37, The Message version)

I suspect that very few of us have a good image of evangelism and evangelists. The idea of evangelism seems to either make us feel guilty because we’re not doing it, or turn us off because there’s no way we would ever want to do it. In fact, most people in churches like ours would rather do anything than do evangelism!

Why is that? … There are many reasons – a few probably quickly came to mind for you. The first reasons that come to mind for me are: I don’t want to be anything close to the stereotype that comes to my mind when I think of an evangelist – one of the typical folks we think of as tele-evangelists. And I don’t want to offend people by pressuring them with images of where they will spend eternity – and I’m not so sure I agree with that anyway. Besides that, I wonder sometimes what business I have telling people what they ought to be doing or believing. I have enough trouble in my own life doing and believing what I should! So why can’t we simply just do the best we can, be the best Christians we can be, and hope that is a good enough witness to others? Perhaps you’ve heard the quote, “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” I personally have not found it easy to talk faith with others – it is something I have to work at sometimes. … Wouldn’t it just be great if words were never necessary?

I’d like you to take a moment and think back over your spiritual journey, think back to when you first began to believe in God – for some of us that may be all the way back to our childhood; for some of us that may be in our adult years; and for some of us that may be just a short time ago… … Now, think about how you came to understand about God and about Jesus – Was believing in God something that “just happened” or can you name someone, or maybe several someones, who told you about God and about Jesus and about how faith is in their life? I suspect we can all name someone who shared words of faith that have helped us along our journey.

So why is it that for some people faith-sharing seems to come just as naturally as breathing? Why is it that other people seem to be like Philip – ready to share words of faith – and all I seem ready to do is to change the subject, perhaps afraid I won’t have the “right” words? ...

One reason may be: [Philip was open to God and followed God’s leading, and he shared faith in context. The scripture begins by telling us that God’s angel spoke to Philip and Philip responded. Now who knows if that means some audible voice, or if that’s just some simply sense of nudging that we often get. But the point is, Philip did it. How often I struggle to be open to following God’s leading and not trying to wrest the control from God. We also see in this passage that the eunuch asked Philip a question about what he was reading, and Philip used that question to talk about Jesus. Philip didn’t try to make his point from his own place, but met the man at his place of need and shared Jesus from there.]

This can be the same for us – We can be open to God’s leading and find ourselves in the place where we are the one available when someone needs to have faith shared. [I once had a friend say to me, seemingly out of the blue, “I wish I had what you have.” “What’s that,” I asked. “Peace. You seem to have this sense of inner peace no matter what, and I wish I had that. … I know it’s because of your faith – I wish I had that.” Wow, what an opening. That time, instead of turning away, I “grabbed my chance,” as the scripture says, and asked about her faith and upbringing, and then shared what I could about what I knew, believed, and tried to live. I tried my best to communicate my understanding of God’s message of grace above all else.]

Sharing faith is not always about knowing the scriptures – that can be a great help, sure. But sharing our faith comes from knowing our own faith. It comes from knowing our own story and being able to share that with others. If you were asked “Why does believing in God make a difference in your life?,” would you be able to answer? Would others be able to see in tangible ways that it does – like through your prayer life, or through remaining calm in times of distress, or through how you treat others even when you believe you’ve been wronged?

In the introduction portion of our book, the author shares the way our American society has changed over the past few generations. She shares statistics about faith in America and about Christian faith in America.

She lifts up the fact that: even though a few decades ago when America was believed by most people to be a “Christian nation”, we really weren’t. Sure, Christianity was considered part of the mainstream of our society, but most American’s weren’t Christian. And in this present day, America is considered a mission field by many. Missionaries are sent to the United States from Korea and South America and Africa – missionaries are sent here to preach the message of God’s grace and redemption because it is not being spoken. ...

One way we change this, one way we help others find the spiritual connection and strength that we have found, is by sharing with them what we have and what it means to us. One place to start is at home with our family, our children, and grandchildren, and nieces and nephews. One place to start is here, at Riverside, with the children and with each other… Here where we feel “safe” sharing with one another, so we can be emboldened to share in other places.

Today’s introduction to this study asks us to consider if we might be a barrier that keeps people from experiencing God’s love. … If you saw someone struggling with a task that they weren’t equipped for; and if you had what they needed – would you share it?

One thing I have come to better understand over the past few years is that – my faith journey is not about me. My faith is about others. ... Now, yes, it is also about me. But if I live believing that what the gospel message, the good news of God understood through Jesus – if I believe that what Jesus has shared is only about my relationship with God; then I’ve missed the most important part of Jesus’ message. Once we have faith, God calls us to share it – once I have faith God asks that I help plant the seeds in the lives of others so that they might come to know God, to experience God’s love. When I learn more about God, when I experience God’s grace at a deeper level in my life, when my connectedness to God deepens in tangible ways – then I am able to see you more clearly. I am able to see you as the child of God that you are; to see you through God’s eyes; and, I hope, to love you with greater compassion than I ever could I my own. You see, my faith is not about me; it is about God’s love for you and how our connection to one another can help each of us become whole. ...

It is on that basis that we begin this next phase of our journey together – seeking to unbind our hearts from whatever holds them; seeking to deepen our connections with God and with one another so that we can help each other become whole.

• [classes begin this week (chapter 1)]
• [40 days of prayer begins tomorrow/Monday]

When the members of the general board and the different department leaders came together last spring and supported the idea of having the entire congregation take part in this study in some way; the desire was for three things to happen: - first, we would each find a deeper understanding of our own faith story - second, we would find the strength/grace to share it here with one another - last, for those who are willing, they will be emboldened to step out to share with others

I pray our spiritual journey together these next six weeks is enriching to our individual journeys of faith. And I pray that this time together bears fruit for years to come. Amen.

Sunday's Prayer

Good and Gracious God, we gather in your presence this day seeking to offer you praise. You, who created the heavens and the earth, also created us. Rich in diversity yet strong in our commonalities, we seek to draw closer to you. Enfold us now in the embrace of your love. Lift us from the midst of our daily lives to see you; to know you; to be nurtured in love of you – for you alone give purpose to our living.

Hear us now as we offer prayers for those who need your healing touch – prayers for those we have named here and those we name now in our hearts… You call us, always, to look beyond ourselves, to look beyond our troubles and to pray for the needs of others – so we offer prayers for those close to home, like children here in Jacksonville who have no place to call home; and we offer prayers for those across your world, like the invisible children of the Sudan... Bring them healing; bring them peace.

Hear us now as we offer prayers for those who need your strengthening touch – a prayer for courage to take a stand to fight injustice and oppression and racism. Help us to be mindful in the simple things we can do, such as refusing to call names, or to spread gossip, or to share hateful/hurtful words… You call us to listen to one another in love; to listen with hearts filled with your love. Help us to hear and to respond to your call...

And hear us now as we offer prayers for our congregation, your church, and for its mission and ministry in this place. Be with our Pastoral Search Committee as they discern the best candidate for our next senior minister. May their deliberation be clear and their discernment follow your will… Be with the leaders of our congregation as they continue to lead us to follow your vision. May we continue to live out our witness of your grace – sharing your love through ministry in this community. Help us strengthen our ties to one another and deepen our relationship with you. We know if we do these things, we will be empowered to share you with all we meet. Bless our time of transition; may it be rich in growth.

God of mercy, your steadfast love endures forever; your faithfulness to all generations. Fill us now with your Spirit that we might walk always in your way. Through Jesus Christ’s name we pray. Amen.

Holy Moments

Tuesday I led a memorial service for one of our members – one who died unexpectedly, which in and of itself makes the whole situation more difficult for all of us...

It was my seventh service in two years – that feels like a lot, especially given that I wasn’t the lead pastor during that time. Walking with a family through this period of grief and leading a memorial service for someone is: healing, heart-rending, awe-filled, difficult, uplifting …a feeling that I find challenging to explain… [but I’m gonna try because it’s on my mind tonight :) ]

First there’s the sacred time I have to spend with the family. Time to help them begin the grieving process; time to begin to look past loss to hope; time to celebrate the good that was even as we mourn all that will never be. As part of our preparation for the service, we spend time together sharing memories of the loved one – times in their lives and relationship that are cherished, full of joy, perhaps bittersweet, and even times of difficulty and strain. In a time of great sorrow it helps all of us to acknowledge the difficult times and to find loving memories to smile and perhaps laugh about. It is difficult to explain the privilege I feel being given the opportunity to meet this loved one through the eyes of their family (and sometimes friends); to hear loving and sometimes pain-filled memories; to be able to speak words of comfort and affirmation and grace...

Then there’s the holy time I get to spend writing the funeral meditation (a.k.a. eulogy). And it truly is a holy time. The best way to describe it: during the time I spend focusing on writing the meditation I feel as if I am actually spending it with that person. That surprised me with the first one I did – feeling as if, in a way, I had company as I tried to put together thoughts that would share some measure of the significance of that person; their uniqueness, their character, their struggles and triumphs and loves. And the feeling has been there whether I knew the person before death or not. It’s influenced by my relationship with them, of course that plays a role – but it’s as if we journey together for that space of time as I seek to find and speak words of truth and words of love.

And there’s also the, hopefully, grace-filled time of the service itself. Our time to come together as a community; to share words of sorrow, to share words of hope, to share love and comfort and support with one another. A time to remind ourselves that we aren’t alone – there are many who grieve with us, and a loving God who journeys with us every step.

I come through with my body tired (sometimes even drained if it is a more difficult one like this week’s), but with my soul expanded and my spirit buoyed by feeling the embrace of our connectedness to each other and to our God.

I am truly blessed to be able to serve God in ministry with you.

[And if you've read all the way to the end - thanks for listening!]

Living in the in-between, part 2

In an earlier post I reflected on times of change being full of the potential for fear and anxiety. Those in-between times – the times of change when we are living between what once was and what is not yet – can also be rich times of growth. I think the question lies in whether we can live in the in-between and remain open. Can I remain open to the opportunities, possibilities, and promises that can be found when I am willing to let go of what has “always been?” (or at least what I perceive or remember or feels like it has always been) Can I live open to the opportunities change can bring or will I live only aware of the dangers hiding in the murkiness?

I think one of the hardest things to do during times of change is to live with a sense of expectancy and hope – believing that what lies ahead will be something greater than I could have ever imagined. Living out that belief in all of my actions and all my thoughts. This is even harder to do when the change is not something that I asked for.

I find that I am able to hold on to this view of expectancy and hopeful moments when I remember that God is at work. God is at work not only here where I find myself, but God is also at work where I am going – I simply need to meet God there. I am not going someplace where God is not – I am going toward where God already is. And God walks with me on the journey (boggles the mind, I know).

Do you live believing that God is already at work in the world and that you join God in the work God has already begun? What difference does believing in Jesus make in your life? How do you, or can you, live differently because of that belief?

Sunday Prayer

Heavenly Father, Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer… We gather here today to be together in your presence; we gather to become one in worship of you. Open our hearts to your presence, and our minds to your word. Open our lives to become channels of your grace and goodness, for we know that every good and perfect Gift come from you – so we give you thanks and praise.

Loving God, we know that you will continue to guide and sustain us as a community of faith. For 87 years the Body of Christ known as Riverside has worshipped and served you here. Your Spirit is alive and thriving in this place. Our mission and ministry is vibrant and vital; and we will continue to share your grace through all that we do, led by your guiding hand and gentle touch. … When times of uncertainty surround us, help us rest in the knowledge of your steadfast love and unchanging grace. As brothers and sisters in Christ, help us draw strength from one another. In the days and weeks ahead, help us deepen our relationship with you, with one another, most importantly, with the people of this community. May we live our witness – sharing our faith in Jesus Christ, through all we do and say. To you be all glory and praise, now and forever.

• We offer prayers this day for those who are grieving a loss… Bring them the comfort of your presence and the knowledge of your unfailing love.

• We offer prayers for those who need your healing touch – those we have named and those we name now in our hearts… Bring them the healing touch that comes only from you.

• And we offer prayers for those who simply need to find rest in you… In you we do find rest and peace, strength and grace.

• We also offer prayers for all who live in the path of Hurricane Gustav. May they find shelter from the storm; and may they find rest and peace in you.

We pray this and all our prayers in the way of Jesus, the Christ. Amen.

Living in the in-between

As our senior pastor’s ministry with us concludes, we are aware that we are entering into a time of change. Really we always have change occurring in our lives – the question is how much change is happening and how significant is the impact of it?

Times of transition, like this time for our congregation, can easily be times of stress and anxiety. And knowing that the change is coming, having 10 months to prepare for a change that is to come, oftentimes really isn’t all that helpful once the change happens. There is that moment, that identifiable moment, when you know that things won’t be the same again. Not necessarily better or worse, just not the same. And it is then that I begin to understand more deeply all that this change means – the ways it will (and hopefully will not) affect different areas of my life; how it will and won’t affect relationships; and how it will (and likely won’t) affect my faith. And then, in this case at least, I begin to understand that I've also entered into a "living in-between" time. A time between what is past and the rest of the change (our next pastor arriving) that still waits ahead somewhere...

The more significant the change (notice I didn’t say “bigger” because it’s not the size of the change but how significant I believe it is) - the more significant the change, the more there is to work through in order to get back to the core. But when I do, what I find there is the unchangingness (like that word?) of God, the steadfastness of God in my life. And I remember that my life is part of a much bigger story, God’s story. And I remember that with God at the center (not me, not a situation, just God) the details look different. My anxiety is lessened, my acceptance of what is expands, my capacity for sharing love and grace is increased, and I know with a trust that is unmeasureable that all will be well. And peace has room to grow within me once again.

What do you turn to during times of significant change? What brings you back to peace?

Celebrating our ministry

Wow! What a wonderful weekend of celebration of ministry at Riverside. I hope you were able to be part of it all. I hope that you were able to feel the excitement that I felt about our ministry at Riverside. In lifting up Rick’s ministry with us – 11 plus years of it! – we also celebrated our change and growth as individuals and as a congregation during that time.

How far we’ve come… How much we’ve done… How much God is still calling us to do!

As we continue to celebrate Rick’s ministry with us, and as we begin to miss his leadership of us – God’s voice calls out telling us that the mission he calls us to does not end. God calls; telling us that his mission is not dependent upon one person alone, but upon the work of us all. God’s mission – to share his love and grace with everyone – is unfolding in our lives and in our community today, and will continue to do so in the days ahead.

It is my prayer that we each are able to be aware of and be responsive to God’s call to continue to serve him. Where is God active in your life? How is God calling you to serve during this time of transition? How is God calling you to deepen your faith?

hmm...a message here?

I've just come home from back-to-back trips to Christmount, NC and then to our Camp and Conference Center in Silver Springs for Jigsaw (a Regional youth retreat) - with only 1 day at home in between. I went to unpack this evening and found...

...I sense there may be a message here?!

Traveling... home again

I’m on my way home from a Board meeting at Christmount in Black Mountain, NC. I seem to be doing a lot of traveling lately. Friday I leave for our Conference Center in Silver Springs for a weekend youth retreat. … It will be good to be home for a while.

Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy traveling. It’s good to see new places. It’s good to meet new people and learn more about life outside my small corner of space. (I figured out the other day that I’ve lived in Jacksonville for 22 years now – that’s longer than I’ve ever lived anywhere.) But there’s something to be said for “home.”

Home – that place where you are known. A place of family and friends. A place where you can rest comfortable in the knowledge that you belong; not because your “things” are there, but because there are people there who love and support you, who share your tears of joy and sorrow, who cheer you on and then challenge you to go further.

I am blessed to have several of these places. In Jacksonville with my husband and son, and extended family. In Bradenton with my extended family. In Jacksonville with my friends and church. In Florida with the youth and adults of the YMC and CYF.

But I also have found that each place I go, whether it’s California or North Carolina or…, I find a piece of home there, too. I find there a sense of belonging, because God is in that place – and where God is, I know I can belong. Perhaps it’s not something I can see or touch as easily as I can where my family is. But it is there, nonetheless; there deep inside me – that invisible connection with a people and a place because I believe, I know in the core of who I am, that through God we are all one. And that is the best belonging any of us can have.

Sunday's Prayer

God of grace and truth, we gather in your presence this day singing words of praise – you alone are worthy of the praises we bring. You, who created the heavens and the earth, and yet are mindful of us. You know the hairs on our heads; and hold each of us in the palm of your love – and so we join as one in love of you. Hold us close in your presence this day so that we will know that you are Love.

God of faith, through your Spirit is life and peace. In the form of Jesus Christ, you have come to show us who you are. You have shown us that you are a God of grace; a God of peace; a God of truth. We are your children and we know you love us. We have life in you, because your Spirit is within us…

So be with us. Search our hearts and know our ways. Fill our very lives with you – fill us with your presence so that our souls overflow onto everyone we meet. Help us to remember that, no matter our circumstances, we are more than conquerors because of the love that Jesus has for us. Jesus, who gave himself for us, gave us a glimpse of who you are. Jesus, who died so that we might understand how to live – lives and walks with us still today. So help us to live and to do the work of Jesus who calls us into the world. Help us to know that you ask of us only one thing – to share your sacred word with a broken and hurting world so that they too might know the peace that only you can bring into our lives.

And may the peace of Jesus Christ be with each of us, this day and evermore. Amen.

Sunday's Prayer

God of grace and truth, we come before you with hungry hearts – hearts that long to find rest our place you. We gather this day to praise you, for you are God and we are your people. You have given us every good thing – food to nourish our bodies, beauty to nourish our spirits, and your Holy Spirit to nourish our souls. There is nothing good which does not come from you – and we give all honor to you this day.

Through Christ’s love we have been reconciled to you. Jesus has shown us how to love you, so that we might love you with our whole hearts …and we know that the love you call forth in us is as much about our neighbor as it is about you. So help us – help us to be your hands and your feet in this place; help us to be love in all that we say and in all that we do. …Show us how to respond to anger with love; how to respond to fear with love – each action we make is a choice, so help us to choose your loving way.

Lord God, we know through Jesus that we are called to take up our cross. Just as Simon the Cyrene did – we, too, are called to carry our cross; to bear our responsibilities for one another and for this world; to serve where there is a need that you have called us to fulfill. May we each rise to the call of your voice, emboldened by the example of Jesus, and strengthened by your Holy Spirit and our fellowship with one another. And may we know that our loving and our serving help bring healing through your grace.

Your constant presence with us, your steadfast loving of us brings joy to our hearts and purpose to our living. So may all our living be in the way of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Sunday's Prayer

Lord God, Father of Jesus the Christ, we give you thanks this day and always for the steadfast love which you are. You have revealed your Self to us in Jesus – and we are humbled at the grace you share with us. What are we that you are mindful of us – and yet you have promised to be with us on this journey of life; you have promised to be with us on this journey of faith, always. So, we give all glory and honor to you alone.

Lord God, we know that you are the Great Physician. You care not only about our physical ills, but about our spiritual ones as well. So, bring healing now where there is need. Bring strength – bring comfort – bring healing and renewing love in equal measure. Pour them out upon your children so that we might be restored to you. Pour out your grace and your love, not just in this place, but where ever there is need – so that all creatures might come to know that you are God, and that you are a God of mercy and love.

Show us this day how you would have us live and love. Show us the step that we are to take today – and help us know that you walk with us always. May we live trusting that you will be with us tomorrow to help us take the next step and the one after that. Help us experience and live this day as you have given it to us – knowing that tomorrow will come in good time. Help us walk close to you so that we may be filled with your love and your grace – sharing both with everyone we meet.

God of our spiritual parents – God of Abraham and Isaac, God of Ruth and Mary – you are a faithful God. Teach us to walk by faith in you and not by what we see in this world. Through your Holy Spirit come wisdom and strength, that will renew and sustain us this day and always.

Hear the prayers of our hearts this day – we pray in the name and in the way of Jesus, the Christ. Amen.

Good (?) Friday

As a child I often wondered why it was called “good”... I mean, this is the day we remember that they killed Jesus.  Why is that good?  Yes, I understand about the resurrection, but why did he have to die?  What’s good in an innocent man dying? More specifically: What kind of parent would send his child to a place to suffer and die through no fault of their own? That’s what I was taught as a child – that God knew Jesus would die and sent him anyway. What kind of a “god” would do that? Not one I wanted to worship – which is in part related to my leaving the church for my young adult years (a story for another time)...

I don’t believe that Jesus “had” to die for my sins – that God sent his son to die for me/us.  Yes, it ended up that way. Yes, eventually there was no other choice.  But it was our choices, our reactions, our responses that determined that. Now I know none of us were alive then, but I really don’t believe it would be any different today.  2,000 years, and humanity really hasn’t changed much. Jesus comes speaking of love and interdependence, of our need for commitment and responsibility toward one another, of God as love not judgment, and grace not wrath.  And Jesus asks us to live this way – to treat each other this same way... to be willing to change not only how we are with one another, but to change how our society functions. Can you hear the response?  “No, that’s not possible – things aren't great, but they're okay as they are, thank you.  Besides, if I really wanted things to change, there’s nothing I can do about it – one person can’t make a difference.  I’ll just try being a little nicer to people, that’s all he’s asking for.”  

That’s all he’s asking for? No. He’s asking us to understand that this world is not right-side up; it’s standing on its head. This upside-down world we live in isn’t reality as if maybe someday God’s reality will come into being. God’s reality exists now – we just have a hard time seeing it. It’s not about me; it’s about God. It’s not about me; it’s about us. Everything we do either draws us closer to God and to one another, or it keeps us apart, distinct, separate. Jesus says, “I came to show you God’s love; to teach you how to live that love with one another.” And even in his dying, he did that. What is there to fear in death, for we know, through Jesus Christ, God meets us even there.

... perhaps it is a good Friday.

Cleaning out!

I’ve been cleaning out my office this week.  Yes, in the middle of Holy Week with all the extra things going on – I’ve decided to clean!  ;-)  I told Dianne that I’ve felt the need to get some space – and that’s true.  And by working on the outer spaces, cleaning out the junk and sorting and organizing what’s left, I find that I am, at some level, working on inner space at the same time. 

And maybe Holy Week is a good time to do this… I need to be able to cast off what is no longer part of me, what is tying me down or holding me to the past, so that I can make space for what is seeking to unfold... most importantly, so I can make space for God to be.  How often do we let stuff pile up, not just in our physical space but in our personal space as well?  How often do we hang on to thoughts, beliefs, experiences that are no longer valid for us, no longer descriptive of who we are or of how we understand the world to be, or of who we understand God to be?  Certainly it’s not a conscious decision – at least I pray it’s not for me.  But if we don’t take the time to reflect, to look and really see what we have sitting on the shelves of our lives, then we may find one day that there’s no room for anything new.  More importantly, we may not realize how often we are responding to life from the old stuff in our spaces rather than from the love found in the light of God. 

So maybe Holy Week is a good time to clean out the “stuff” in my life – time to bury some things so that new life has room to grow.  When did you last clean out the “stuff”?

A few more reflections on Lazarus

Throughout the gospel texts we find examples of Jesus choosing the time and place of his response to situations – none so obvious, perhaps, as in the story of the raising of Lazarus.  When the sisters send Jesus a note telling of Lazarus’ illness, Jesus delays going for two days – saying the time was not yet for him to go.  ... I wonder how often I am able to do that – how often am I able to respond out of my sense of what I should do rather than react out of a desire to fix or do or be who you want me to be.  How often, when we see a need or someone approaches us with a need – how often am I able to seek first where God is leading me, where God is calling me to go and to do... seeking first God’s leading so that I am responding from the love of God?  ... I am a “fixer”.  Bring me a problem, and I want to fix it.  I have to be careful when I counsel others to remember that it is not my job, not my place to “fix” things... I know myself, and I know that all too often I react wanting to fix, cure, or stop what is wrong – whatever that means in the situation – rather than offer love and healing (which often is not the same as fixing would be).  I can’t stand to see you in pain so I want to help stop the pain, but perhaps the pain is only a symptom of something deeper that needs to be healed, or perhaps the pain is something that you need to heal yourself with God...

In Jesus’ time there were “professional mourners,” people who attended to the families of the dead to weep and wail for the dead in order to remind the living to rail against the forces that oppress.  It is likely it was these same mourners who were in the house with Mary when Jesus arrived in Bethany following Lazarus’ death.  It was possibly these people who followed her to the tomb to catch up with Jesus, these same people whom Jesus saw “weeping” and became disturbed/angry.  The text is unclear but seems to indicate that Jesus’ emotion at that point was not anger or sorrow because people were grieving – but rather that he was disturbed or angered by what he witnessed in the crowd of mourners.  Perhaps it was these people who are not concerned for the victim, but rather who, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, come with their own agenda.  ... Who do you know who are “professional mourners” today?  Who are the friends, or people around us who encourage us to weep and wail as one who has no faith, to respond as the world responds rather than to trust in God’s promises?  Certainly, when bad things happen to us we mourn – it hurts because we are interrelated and when a tie is hurt or severed in some fashion we hurt.  But our faith should make a difference in how we mourn – we have that certain hope that life continues beyond the grave, whether it is a grave of death or the burial of some part of a relationship.  And that is a hope that should bring us comfort and strength, knowing that God is in all and through all.  Does your faith make a difference in your grief? ...

Before calling Lazarus from the tomb, Jesus offered a prayer of thanks acknowledging that God listens and hears.  He didn’t offer a prayer asking God to listen; rather he thanked God for listening and responding.  I wonder – how often do I approach prayer in that fashion, not asking God to hear me but instead believing and then acting that God listens to the prayers of my heart?  What about you? ...

I wonder, as well, what Lazarus might have thought/felt at being brought back from death?  The text doesn’t address Lazarus at all; it simply leaves him exiting the tomb... I wonder what the rest of his days were like...  Did he live a changed person, knowing that every day was a gift?  Did a second chance at living and loving make any difference in the depth of his relationships and the way he viewed the details of daily living?  And what effect did it have on his sisters, his friends and family? ... And why do we need to physically die and be reborn to look at life as a gift daily?

The time is not yet...

One of the things that struck me in our gospel passage Sunday (John 11:1-45) is that Jesus delays returning to Bethany on purpose.  Jesus is sent word that his friend is ill, he likely even knows that his friend is already dead by the time he read the message sent to him – and yet he says, “not yet”.  My first reaction is, “What?! How could he?! Not MY Jesus, he would never do something that!”…  And then I remember the story of the wedding feast and Jesus’ first miracle.  You remember, they had run out of wine and Jesus’ mother came to him and told him the wine was gone.  Like the sisters from Sunday’s text, his mother didn’t tell him to fix it and she didn’t ask him for anything – simply told him the situation… heavily laden with implied desires.  Jesus replied to her – as he did to the sisters – “the time is not yet.”  … Oh, how I don’t like hearing those words!  God’s time is not my time; God’s timing is not my timing; God’s way is not my way.

It causes me to ponder how often I come to God for help, comfort, support – and tell God how he needs to provide it; how he needs to solve it.  Not just that I want things fixed, changed, etc. in my time frame – I also want them resolved my way.  But what God asks is that we allow room in our lives for God to work.  We are asked to place our prayers, our petitions and requests before God and trust that God will be there, at work in the situation, at work in our lives.  Nowhere that I can find (darn it) are we told to place our requests before God and then solve it for him… How difficult it is to relinquish control – to remove our bindings and trappings from certain areas or experiences and allow God room to work.

Where have you bound your life so tightly that you are afraid to let go and give God control and space in which to work?  Can you offer a prayer to God help you let go, help you to give God space to work in the situation and within you?  You may find that God wants to bring the miracle of new life where you thought only healing was possible.

That is my prayer for all of us this day.

I will be with you

In my devotional reading this week I find these words:

“Moses said to God, “Who am I to go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt?” The Lord answers, “I shall be with you.” That’s all. Simply, I’ll be with you! … In every religious experience in the Bible, a person comes to an experience of God and God says, simply, I shall be with you. I will do it. Trust me. The directions come as you walk the journey. The word is not fully given until the first steps are taken.”

God will be with us – what more do we need to know? But if you’re like me, that is often little consolation. I want to know where I’m going before I begin – what’s my destination, what’s the route I’m going to take, what possible difficulties might I face along the way? But then I remember: one of the best vacations I’ve taken was a three week camping trip with a close friend. Our journey was to visit Niagara Falls, but we didn’t choose a route before we left – choosing instead to follow where our interests and the roads took us, stopping where we chose and visiting places of interest along the way. We travelled for three weeks – partly in campgrounds and partly in motels – without making reservations choosing each day what we were to do. ... ... Isn’t that what God is asking of us – to live our lives knowing that our journey is eternity with God, knowing that God is our constant companion helping us choose each day the road we are to take and the stops we are to make along the way?

Sometimes I think “the word is not fully given until the first steps are taken” because I would be too frightened to take that first step if I knew where it would lead. Trust me, God says, and I hang on – sometimes like a frightened child not daring to look and see what really is. All God asks is that we take the first step... and it usually becomes easier from there. That’s how it was for me following God’s call into full-time ministry.  “You want me to do what? To go where?,” I said. “I can’t possibly do that.  Surely you’re wrong.” (Yep, that’s right – me telling God he was mistaken! Oh the places we allow ourselves to go in order to deny God’s call on our lives.) So God showed me seminary, and I knew it was where I was to be. The first step. It was only after I had actually taken that first step, that I began to see God’s leading – the direction we were headed. But I still only see a little way ahead – and that is good. It helps me to trust more fully that God walks with me; it keeps me more focused on making sure that I walk with God; and it helps me focus on where I am now and what I am called to do, who I am called to be.

God is with you – possibly some of the best words that bring us constant security, comfort, peace, and strength. God is with you, trust that the directions will come as you take each step.

Mandalas, prayers, and creativity

Today the Mandala prayer class that I am leading as part of our Wednesday night program will begin to create Mandala’s with either paints or with sand. I am really enjoying this class – and am able to participate more than facilitate. We spend time together, with quiet music, working on our own creative projects, and occasionally having quiet conversation. It is a time, for me at least, to simply be. A time to calm and to center and focus. I think that is why I like “creative” projects – when I work on them they help me to center in a different way than meditation does. These projects, like knitting, help me to touch a part of myself that doesn’t always get to stretch and unfold. And that helps me connect to God in another way.

Many years ago I used to work on craft type creative projects almost every week – like counted cross stitch, etc. But then I changed jobs, work became more demanding and I gave up my “creative” time... I realize now that I was really giving up a part of myself; closing myself off because the freedom and joy I found in creative work didn’t fit well with a job that I found burdensome, confining, heavy... I was unable to reconcile the two, so I simply stopped my work on creative projects. That job certainly was not a job I should have had – but from it I learned an important lesson: just because I may have the skills to do something, does not mean that it is what I am called to do. Giftedness and temperament and strengths also play a role. As does, most importantly, passion – that place where my desires meet the world’s needs. God gives us many gifts and graces, strengths and talents. And through the years we develop many skills, as well. Our passion is the place where these coalesce; where our love for God and for humanity merge with our gifts and graces and skills into a heart-felt desire to bring God’s healing love into the world.

Crocheting and creating with a beadloom are beginning to interest me, and will probably become my next "creative" learning areas. I used to crochet, my grandmother (who is now 100!) taught me when I was a child. I can still do the most basic stitch, but that is all. One day I will learn again, but not yet. The time is not yet, I am still enjoying knitting and have so much more of myself and God to explore through it.

What do you do to stretch and unfold the creative person within? How do you connect with God through the creative?

A great morning of worship

I am so tired tonight – pleasantly exhausted you might say.  Today our youth led worship – planned, organized, and filled the worship leadership roles.  It is much more tiring to help coordinate so many moving parts than it is to simply do it myself… But it’s so much more rewarding to help support them.  And they were fantastic!  Offering prayers, reading scripture, leading children’s moment, giving the sermon, sharing their musical gifts, offering communion…and through it all, rolling with the little changes that seem to happen no matter who is leading (like welcoming a new member!).  And the worship was uplifting and awesome.

Some things were a little different this year – we chose a Sunday during Lent, so their worship planning had to include the Lenten theme and some worship elements that were already picked.  And they worked with that, creating a worship experience that reflected who they are and how they understand God.  In the process, they also decided to ask a few adults to fill roles in both services – so “youth” Sunday had intergenerational leadership.  I think this was a result, at least in part, of their being asked on a pretty regular basis to serve in leadership in worship throughout the year.  How wonderful this congregation is.  And you’re raising some pretty wonderful young people - ones who see themselves as part of and connected to the larger group!

Every year I come away from this Sunday wishing that I had a camera to take snapshots of all the kids - but knowing that taking pictures during worship would make it performing rather than worshipping... And knowing that I don't need a camera to remember the look on Mia's face when she told me she has written the script herself that she wanted to have 2 kids share during children's moment; or to remember the look on Glynis' face when she saw someone coming down the aisle to join following her invitation, followed by the look of seriousness when she extended to him the hand of Christian fellowship and welcomed him into membership; or to remember the faces of the K-2nd grade kids as they sung the Gloria Patri for us; or to remember Glynis as she made herself vulnerable sharing times in her life when she told God "but I neeeed it"; or the look on the congregation's faces as they sang "take me as I am, summon out what I shall be, set your seal upon my heart and live in me"; or... or simply the looks of relief and delight that come following doing something that you know is important, something that stretches you just a little bit, and that is done with people you know love and support and respect you simply because you are God's child.

What a great day!  I hope you were there to be part of it.

Young leaders

I think, as a church, we get it.  We get the fact that the children (of all ages) are not the leaders of tomorrow – but are leaders today in their own right!  I love this church family!  My heart swells with love and pride to see how you honor and respect each child as a person for the gifts and abilities they have now.

Youth Sunday – you know, the Sunday where the kids get to ‘do it all’ – is not as difficult in preparing for as it may be in others places (I say this now as we are on the final 3 day count down)... Because all year long our youth are given the opportunity to read Scripture, lead worship, offer prayers, share their musical gifts, serve others.  The adults ‘in charge’ offer this on a regular basis, intentionally and consistently.  So when it comes time for the kids to take charge of the whole shebang, there’s a lot less prep than you might think.  That means we get to spend time focusing at a deeper level on the meaning of worship – what’s the message, what’s the purpose, how will we accomplish that, etc. Sure, they like different music – wasn’t our music ‘different’ when we were young?  And sure, they want to use it in worship, share it with the adults in their lives hoping you find God in it the way they do – didn’t we want that when we were younger?  Maybe, if you listen closely, you’ll hear a voice in your heart singing:

"And you’ve won my heart/ yes, you’ve won my heart./ Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty/ and wear forgiveness like a crown./ Coming to kiss the feet of mercy/ I lay every burden down/ at the foot of the cross."           ...isn’t that what we’d all like for our children - wearing forgiveness, laying every burden down?  ...isn’t that what we’d all like for ourselves?

If our young people seem confident and capable, that’s because they are.  In part, because they have been gifted with wonderful skills.  And in part, because the adults in their lives (including their church family) support and believe in them, and honor their gifts on a daily basis.  I love this church family.  You are awesome!

mmmm… Thin Mints!

It’s Girl Scout cookie time! Thin Mints are my favorite – especially cold from the fridge. It’s time to buy more milk… How about you?

Over the years I’ve learned to find out what my husband has ordered before I buy any… actually that’s true anytime kids are selling anything. He loves to help them out – which is a great thing. But if we’re not careful we both end up buying something from them and spending way too much. So I’ve learned – when the kids at church are selling cookie dough, gift paper, gift items, etc to raise money for their schools I send them to Mark first and he almost always buys something… and the kids have learned, too, to go to Mark – ‘cause he almost always buys something!

I'll pray for you...

Mark has a friend at work who was diagnosed with stomach cancer several months ago.  He's in his early 30's, married with kids.  I cannot imagine what that diagnosis, what living with this illness has done/ is doing to them.

The folks that work with him decided they wanted to show their support in a tangible way, so they purchased American Cancer Society bracelets to wear while he undergoes chemo treatments.  For the past several months now I have been wearing one of them.  For me it serves as my reminder every day and throughout the day to pray for him - pray for healing, for strength, for comfort - and to pray for others who are in need of healing as well.
I must confess that I like to change the jewelry I wear - I rarely wear the same thing for so long a period... and one day, after about a month, I didn't want to put the bracelet on - "I'm tired of wearing it" was my thought... followed by "just like he's tired of having cancer?"... I felt somewhat ashamed that my commitment to praying for another was something that I'd stop doing over such a trivial matter - which is what would happen without my daily reminder...

When you tell someone "I'll pray for you", do you?  Do you pray just once, or do you continue to pray for them as long as you know they are continuing to deal with their problem?

What would you like others to pray for you about?

Blogging again...

It's been a long time since I last posted - and I'm finding it difficult to get back into the habit again. Thank you to those of you who've mentioned to me that you've noticed my absence.

For a time I wasn't writing because I had some things I needed to work through - things I wasn't comfortable writing about in this space... Then, for the past few months, it's just been finding the initiative to get started, to structure my day again so that I have blogging time... I must confess that sharing of myself in this fashion is not always easy. I write this blog for me, as a way to express my thoughts and feelings - and if others find encouragement from it, or find it thought provoking, then that's a plus. But sometimes I find it harder to write about certain topics or feelings because I know there are others reading - it's difficult taking off the masks that we all wear, and in a very public way. But I find that I am compelled to do so... so thanks for understanding, and thanks for joining me on this journey of faith.

Peace.